Plenty of people think vegans are silly. They don’t understand why we make the choices we do. And often, they ask questions that border on the edge of absurdity, such as: “But what if you lived on a desert island and the only food left in the world was meat. Would you eat it then?” Oh the scenarios… Truth is, vegans are quite smart because we’re changing the world—for the better. Here, Molly Patrick, author of the website Bold Vegan, shares some of the silliest questions she’s ever been asked throughout her meatless life. Get ready to laugh!
I’ve never eaten meat in my life. My mom and dad raised me a vegetarian and it just stuck. I decided to go vegan five years ago and it was one of the best things I ever did. Three decades without meat and a half of a decade without dairy has been awesome. The next 10 comments that I’m about to share with you have made it even more awesome. These are real comments and questions that I’ve gotten over the years—I kid you not—and I’m super happy to share them with you because I know that if any group of people will appreciate them, it will be you.
1) “Don’t you miss meat?”
This was after I explained to my girlfriend’s mom that I had been vegetarian my whole life. Some people just can’t wrap their head around it! Bless her heart, every time we go back to Malaysia she takes me out to the newest veg restaurants.
2) “I didn’t know vegans could be so… voluptuous!”
I was at a networking event in San Francisco and it was 6am, so not an appropriate place for this comment! (Side note: Witnessing people kiss up to each other at 6am is not advised.).
3) “I really want to try going vegan after my kids are grown. I don’t want to compromise their growth.”
I grew up just fine. See point #2, above.
4) “…like, tell me what you ate today, for example.”
One woman wanted a list of what I ate for the entire day so that she could scrutinize my protein intake (of course I won).
5) “Yes, we do have vegetarian food! Vegetarians eat chicken, right?”
Bless the taco truck guy’s heart because he was being totally sincere and he really thought that chicken was in the vegetarian food category.
6) “So, you want a cheeseburger with no burger? I don’t think we have a button for that.”
Said the McDonald’s employee to me when I was 10 and trying to attempt “cool” by having lunch at McDonald’s with my friends. It was the first and last attempt.
7) “You want a ham sandwich with no ham? I don’t understand. I don’t understand!”
Said the German room service worker on a trip to Berlin. I think he did understand; he was just really irritated by thought of a meatless sandwich.
8) “You don’t eat meat? No wonder you’re so pale.”
First of all, what kind of logic is this? Secondly, I was two chromosomes away from being born an albino. My skin has been practically see-through since I came out the womb. It has nothing to do with not eating animals.
9) “Would you eat eggs if they came from my chickens, that I have raised in my yard with lots and lots of love?”
Says a friend of mine, EVERY TIME I SEE HER. Why are we having this conversation again? I don’t want to eat eggs, give it up!
10) “Are you sure you don’t want to come fishing with us?”
I know that fishing is fun for a lot of people, but even if I did eat fish, I think it is the most boring thing to do… maybe ever. So no, I’m positive that I don’t want to go fishing with you for many reasons.
There you have it, proof that some people’s logic goes right out the window when encountering a vegan person. This has been fun! I hope you enjoy my cookbooks this month on Vegan Cuts. For even more witty banter and recipes, check out my website, Bold Vegan.
About Molly Patrick, Our Blogger Friend
Molly Patrick has helped people better their eating habits for over a decade. It is her great passion to assist and support people in developing a thriving lifestyle. She is the author of the website Bold Vegan and writes vegan cookbooks to share her passion and show just how varied and exciting plant-based food can be. She loves to travel and is always inspired by the food of global cultures. Additionally, Molly has opened vegan restaurants in California, Texas and New Mexico. She is currently working on her 4th book.